thoughts deep in me..

it's the 500th post on the 17th DEC 2008.
will there be a 1000th post on a 17th too?
it doesn't matter actually.
17th ... a day i will always take note for nothing.

this will be one of the longest night where i place all my thoughts..
i really don't know what's missing in my heart.
even if i know.. i will keep it to myself..
i don't know why, but my heart cried.
i can feel the tears flowing in my heart...
i really don't understand why..
i think it's better for some people to ignore me...?
it will do good for them, i guess..
i dont know why. but they refused to.
i asked them why, but their answers were so vague..
i got no answer from them eventually.

maybe.. i shouldn't be at home now.
it makes me think alot..
i should have gone out just now... really...
i think i've lost myself, yet again.
i'm always losing myself.. always...
sometimes, i really wish i wasn't exist in this world..
i don't know what i want exactly..

all i need now is a hug.. i really need it now.
a tight and warmth one.
i wish someone is beside me right now.
where are you..?

i think i.........